The Past

It's funny how we all have pasts. They shape and mold us and make us who we are today. We can always say don't live in the past or forget the past, but it always comes back up again. Tonight I can't sleep because of the past. When I was young I was not the best kid a parent could ask for and tonight this is really bothering me. I guess I feel so bad because I am scared that some of my actions from the past might still be present today. I am a much happier and healthier person then I was growing up, but my past is my past and I hope that it doesn't affect my future to much. I guess the only thing I can do is make the best out of the situations I am handed and give the rest to the Lord.

Real World

I’m at a pivotal point in my life where the decisions I make now will affect my future immensely and I must admit, I’m starting to freak out. I keep thinking of school and financial security and marriage and all the things that life brings and I am wondering how you get from point A to point B? About a week ago I had the opportunity to fly out to New York with some friends. As I was boarding the plane I passed through first class and I couldn’t help but think how they all ended up there. Most of the passengers were business men and were quickly dialing away on their “smart” phones making important calls to their work place. I wondered what they were doing when they were my age. I also couldn’t help but think if this is where they really wanted to end up, or if financial obligations drove them there. I was filled with some many questions as I walked through the seven aisles of comfortable first class seats. Life would be so much easier if we could know where we are going to end up one day, but I guess not knowing is what makes it fun right? I just needed to admit that the real world is starting to freak me out! Help!

Writing

One of the things I have always wanted to be great at is writing. My oldest brother Jerry is great at it and I love being able to read his blog. My senior year of high school writing was one of my favorite things to do. I took an AP English class that worked me harder then any class I have ever taken. We were encouraged to write poetry everyday and we read a lot of interesting literature. My senior year writing was a big part of my life. It became the way that I expressed myself. I even though about changing my major to photo journalism but my style of writing and photography would not be able to mesh well together. I love reading honest and true literature that tells it just as it is, swear words and all. Sometimes there is no other way to describe how you feel then to be totally honest with your words. As mentioned in a previous post, I recently read the book Eat Pray Love. I loved the writing style. Everything was was honest and true. I wish I had the courage and the capability to be able to write some of the things that I have read. I hope one day I am able to be open and honest with everything that I write. It really is one of the best ways to express yourself.