Due to recent events
I plan to write on this blog
as LITTLE as POSSIBLE
For now at least
Enjoy the last 6 years of my life
Monday, December 21, 2015
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
The Longterm Thing
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to backpack Europe
Well, I spent 5.5 wonderful weeks abroad and couldn't
have had a more flawless trip.
Now it's back to the real world and I feel even more lost
then when I left.
I feel like I really know where I am when I'm discovering.
The rest is just motions on motions.
Now I'm thinking about how to go back to that place
of wanderlust and discovery
What really scares me though is that you don't
ever spend substantial time with anyone.
You play for a few days and leave.
Find a new fuck buddy,
find new drinking buddies,
and 9 new roommates.
How do you ever maintain a longterm relationship with that?
Good thing I'm scared as fuck of
all of that.
Sorry folks.
Well, I spent 5.5 wonderful weeks abroad and couldn't
have had a more flawless trip.
Now it's back to the real world and I feel even more lost
then when I left.
I feel like I really know where I am when I'm discovering.
The rest is just motions on motions.
Now I'm thinking about how to go back to that place
of wanderlust and discovery
What really scares me though is that you don't
ever spend substantial time with anyone.
You play for a few days and leave.
Find a new fuck buddy,
find new drinking buddies,
and 9 new roommates.
How do you ever maintain a longterm relationship with that?
Good thing I'm scared as fuck of
all of that.
Sorry folks.
Lonely Sad You
Before there was ever a me
or an us,
there was a you.
A sweet sad you.
A lonely you.
And now I want to talk to you more then ever,
make sure you are okay,
rub your head and
just hug you with the purest of intentions.
But there is just a you,
and a me
separate from so many other things
I wanted to cry today for you
but I couldn't.
Remember that time we danced under the stars,
the wind swept my bangs across my
pale cold face and you kissed me
through my hair anyways?
We both had hair stuck to our lips and
we laughed.
We laughed so damn hard we cried.
Then our abs began to shriek and holler
because of overuse
and laughing was overwhelming
and breathing took concentration
to make sure we stayed stable
and didn't drink too much,
or kiss too much,
or just down right play to much.
We sure did love to play
like kids hearing reese's bells and
grasping those fifteen minutes of
immense freedom and joy
gaining calluses on our hands from monkey bars
and running to flip off of tree stumps
and kicking the soccer ball for the final goal before
the bell.
Remember those times
when it was us
and not lonely sad you
and lonely sad me?
Good times.
I think I'll pray for you tonight.
or an us,
there was a you.
A sweet sad you.
A lonely you.
And now I want to talk to you more then ever,
make sure you are okay,
rub your head and
just hug you with the purest of intentions.
But there is just a you,
and a me
separate from so many other things
I wanted to cry today for you
but I couldn't.
Remember that time we danced under the stars,
the wind swept my bangs across my
pale cold face and you kissed me
through my hair anyways?
We both had hair stuck to our lips and
we laughed.
We laughed so damn hard we cried.
Then our abs began to shriek and holler
because of overuse
and laughing was overwhelming
and breathing took concentration
to make sure we stayed stable
and didn't drink too much,
or kiss too much,
or just down right play to much.
We sure did love to play
like kids hearing reese's bells and
grasping those fifteen minutes of
immense freedom and joy
gaining calluses on our hands from monkey bars
and running to flip off of tree stumps
and kicking the soccer ball for the final goal before
the bell.
Remember those times
when it was us
and not lonely sad you
and lonely sad me?
Good times.
I think I'll pray for you tonight.
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