Saturday, June 6, 2015

Child Kisses

Yesterday I found out that my last living grandparent passed away. 
It was semi expected 
and for the most part painless 

It was weird

I said goodbye to her earthly body months ago 
and hope to one day get to know her outside of 
"Well, when you were a baby you never wanted to spend time with me. 
Your mom was sick and you only wanted her." story. 

The only thing I imagined yesterday was 
Mom hugging her mom,
then me gripping my mom.
in white. 
Like a celestial room,
with double mirrors, 
and fresh flowers,
and old ladies everywhere 

I don't know what happens after life,
but I do know that I believe in it

As a child when I would kneel 
by my bedside and roll back and forth 
from side to side so as not to push carpet lines 
into my tender knees
I would ask God to give 

I would blow them each out individually. 
One, two, three, and four. 

I think I'll add another two this evening 
for my two grandmas that I have lost 
in the past year. 

Let's see if I even pray. 
Until then. 

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