Bliss

Let me just say that a lot has happened in the past month. It has been a great month and I don’t think that I could think of a better place to be right now then in Logan. My roommates and I get along amazing and we are always living it up. This month has consisted of cliff jumping, concerts, Betos, movie nights, Modern Family, squirt gun fights, pirate day, quote walls, the state fair, dates, my birthday and lots of other great moments. I must say that there is nothing in my life that I can complain about. It’s just simply bliss besides the pile of homework sitting next to me. Thanks goes out to all those who are apart of my life. You’re the best.

Cameron "Dubie"

This post is just for “Dubie”. I believe I met him when I was 15 or 16 at a stake dance. We were in different stakes and lived on opposite sides of Elk Grove but still became the best of friends. We had the routine of meeting for breakfast at Dennys when we could in order to catch up and spend time together. Since he was gotten home from his mission I feel we have gotten even closer. Since my divorce Cameron has been a rock for me. He always knows how to make me laugh, how to cheer me up, give me advice, and is a great friend. I am so grateful for people like Cameron who I know will always be there for me. Thanks and lots of Love. You’re the best.
Sanchez

Here is a very old picture of Cameron and I. Sadly we haven't taken any pictures in a very long time.

Life is Getting Better

Life is getting better!!!! This labor day weekend was awesome and I want to thank my friends and roommates for it. On Friday I ended up going to a bon fire and a movie night and both were very fun. Saturday night The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus came to Logan and played a free concert. It wasn’t the best concert I have been to but it was still a lot of fun. My cousin Natalie and some of her friends along with my good friend Alex all spent the night and it was good to be able to talk and catch up with people. On Sunday I went down to Alpine and had dinner with my cousins the Bartons. Let me just say that they are amazing. That night I spent the night at my brothers house and we always have fun. On Monday my roommates and I headed out to Bloomington Lake. The lake is runoff from a glacier and let me just say the water was freezing. It was so hard to be able to swim to the cliffs that we jumped off because I thought my body was going to brake down. It was so much fun though to be able to spend time with my roomies.
I have been trying to stay really busy and it’s working. Life has been good and I am having a more positive outlook on life. My heart is healing and I am moving on to bigger and better things. I am hoping within the month that life will go from good back to amazing.

My Take on Life

Let me just say that this week has been dang hard. I moved to Logan a week ago and although I love it here I am crazy lonely. My roommates are amazing, but during the day when all I have is school and the library to look forward to, life gets hard. Recently I have been feeling heart broken as well and that’s never good for a girl when she has no one to turn to close by. I think I have cried at least once every day since I got here. I am trying to stay strong right now but I feel like the adversary is trying to get me down.
I like to write quotes in the front and back pages of my scriptures of things that really strike me. Tonight as I was going over them I found a quote that said “Endure your challenges with joy.” It was such a blessing to be able to read that. I was also able to remember that all things give me experience and are for my good. It was so wonderful to be able to read all the quotes that I have gathered over the last few years. It reminded me that I am a daughter of God and that I need to make sure that I am beautiful to him and not the world.
I had the opportunity on Tuesday to be able to go to the temple and to go to my mom’s grave shortly after. It was so wonderful to be able to feel her presence in the temple and then be able to go and actually visit her. I am so grateful that I have a forever family and that I will be able to one day be with my family in the afterlife.
Today as I was sitting on Old Mains hill and crying my friend Cameron Dubray left me the best voicemail a best friend could ever get. He told me that I was not allowed to have a bad day and that I deserve to have a great day everyday. It was so wonderful to be able to hear these words from a guy that I consider one of my best friends in the world. I guess what I am trying to get out through all of this is that life sucks so much, but I am trying. I think that is what we all need to do. Life is full of challenges and adventures and broken hearts but as long as we try and look at the glass half empty everything will work out. I wanted to express my gratitude to my family who all seemed to call me today and cheer me up, and to my wonderful friends. I am so grateful for the gospel and for the sense that it knocks into me. I am grateful for my amazing roommates, and I am grateful for the opportunities that have been placed before me. I am hoping that within a few months I will be over my broken heart, and have made some great friends. I know that the Lord has landed me in Logan for a purpose so I guess all I can do is leave it in his hands.

The Past

It's funny how we all have pasts. They shape and mold us and make us who we are today. We can always say don't live in the past or forget the past, but it always comes back up again. Tonight I can't sleep because of the past. When I was young I was not the best kid a parent could ask for and tonight this is really bothering me. I guess I feel so bad because I am scared that some of my actions from the past might still be present today. I am a much happier and healthier person then I was growing up, but my past is my past and I hope that it doesn't affect my future to much. I guess the only thing I can do is make the best out of the situations I am handed and give the rest to the Lord.

Real World

I’m at a pivotal point in my life where the decisions I make now will affect my future immensely and I must admit, I’m starting to freak out. I keep thinking of school and financial security and marriage and all the things that life brings and I am wondering how you get from point A to point B? About a week ago I had the opportunity to fly out to New York with some friends. As I was boarding the plane I passed through first class and I couldn’t help but think how they all ended up there. Most of the passengers were business men and were quickly dialing away on their “smart” phones making important calls to their work place. I wondered what they were doing when they were my age. I also couldn’t help but think if this is where they really wanted to end up, or if financial obligations drove them there. I was filled with some many questions as I walked through the seven aisles of comfortable first class seats. Life would be so much easier if we could know where we are going to end up one day, but I guess not knowing is what makes it fun right? I just needed to admit that the real world is starting to freak me out! Help!

Writing

One of the things I have always wanted to be great at is writing. My oldest brother Jerry is great at it and I love being able to read his blog. My senior year of high school writing was one of my favorite things to do. I took an AP English class that worked me harder then any class I have ever taken. We were encouraged to write poetry everyday and we read a lot of interesting literature. My senior year writing was a big part of my life. It became the way that I expressed myself. I even though about changing my major to photo journalism but my style of writing and photography would not be able to mesh well together. I love reading honest and true literature that tells it just as it is, swear words and all. Sometimes there is no other way to describe how you feel then to be totally honest with your words. As mentioned in a previous post, I recently read the book Eat Pray Love. I loved the writing style. Everything was was honest and true. I wish I had the courage and the capability to be able to write some of the things that I have read. I hope one day I am able to be open and honest with everything that I write. It really is one of the best ways to express yourself.