Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Typical

There are certain times in life that call for Bon Iver
Only the sweet voice and melody's of their songs make me feel better sometimes

You see, I am trying to make some hard decisions.
I am trying to figure out how much I care about certain things.

I am not going to lie that being home has had it's ups and downs.
One moment I am so happy to be home and wrapped up in a blanket with my love,
and the next I am sad and lonely and wishing for my friends in the southern hemisphere.

You see, I am pretty easy to get to know,
and I try to be an open book.

Mom dying: I will tell ya about it.
Evil step mom: I will tell ya about it
Family problems: I will tell ya about it.
My divorce: I will tell ya about it

The problem is though, is that all of these things are in the past and i'm in the present.
I can't figure out if I already know the answer to all of my problems
and are hiding from them,
or if I really am as lost as I feel.

Maybe it's my depressing music,
or the fact that I want to curse up and down but i'm not so that my superiors wont think so low of me.
Or maybe,
 I am ungrateful
or depressed,
or need therapy,

Or maybe, I am just messy on the inside and out.
My shirts, undergarments, and jeans all have holes in them and I can't seem to ever
bring myself to buy new ones.

Or maybe I just need to give a darn about something for once in my life.
Like literally feel passionate about something
and breath it in all day and decorate the walls of my life with it!

But until I feel passion, or figure my life out
here I will be.
At a coffee shop,
not drinking coffee
writing my life out when I should be writing a paper.

Typical.

2 comments:

  1. Megan, I love your blog posts. Keep writing. You and I share something that not too many people our age do and it is so comforting to know that there is someone else out there going through similar things as I, so thank you!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dearest Mego, I love you so much. I'm sorry things aren't going the most steady, but just remember that there are so many people that love you more than you know and are so willing to sacrifice so much for you! You are an amazing woman and have accomplished so many wonderful things with such a wonderful spirit! I look up to you in many ways, and I love you so much!

    ReplyDelete