Monday, October 22, 2012

Humans Are Not Meant To Be Alone

My dad always tells me that humans are not meant to be alone
This past week I have felt more alone then almost ever before.
My dad has received countless phone calls from me this week
and has been more then willing to comfort my shifted soul

Going home at night is quite possibly one of the worst things in the world
I do fine in the day but nighttime,
the dark
no one to hold you
and nothing but a large cold space
to great you seems all to much to handle right now

I know that in reality we are never alone
we all have our god
and I for sure do not want to take his power for granted anymore

My dad keeps telling me to pray
one of the things I have struggled most with in my life.
When I was young I blew kisses
to my mom, grandpa, and my brother's best friend Luke
in my humble prayers.

Now I laugh at the idea and crawl into bed angry that their gone
rather then get down on my knees and thank my maker

So last night I prayed
I let out a few tears for the 5th day in a row
and then climbed into my abyss

My thin blankets layered softly on one another
held me last night

I still felt unbelievably sick last night
and my heart ached till it beat in the depths of my throat
but, it was okay

Someday I know I will be okay
and the dark, and my bed, and my home
won't seem so scary anymore.

Eventually I won't be alone anymore
and I will have someone
like all humans are supposed to

Humans are not meant to be alone

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