The Eiffel Tower

When I was 13, my dad took my two brothers and I to Europe for the first time. On that trip we had the opportunity to visit the Eiffel Tower. Beneath the tower vendors held up their souvenirs for sale and pestered the endless amounts of tourists that were visiting one of France’s icons. I remember buying a miniature Eiffel Tower. For years it sat in my room and it was a great way to remember the adventurous trip I was able to take with the men in my family, but it was also a great reminder of something wonderful I had experienced.

Recently, my dad returned to Europe and on this trip took his lovely wife Jodi. While in Jodi’s office over the Christmas holiday I noticed that Jodi had the same Eiffel tower sitting on her desk. Seeing the little statue made me smile, it brought back so many fond memories. Jodi had bought two Eiffel Tower’s on her trip and offered one to me. I accepted the gift, but purposefully left it in Jodi’s office. I had treasured my little tower for so long that I couldn’t take one of hers. It wasn’t my experience that had brought that tower back, it had been hers, and she needed to keep it.

This morning as I was driving home I noticed a charm that my sister had given me for Christmas. Since putting it on my key chain I have not paid much attention to it. As the cold air attacked my bare legs I clenched onto my keys and gave the charm a real look for the first time. On one side lay a big M for Megan, and on the other side was a picture of the Eiffel Tower. I couldn’t help but smile.

Through the years I have moved several times. To be honest, I don’t know where my little tower is that I brought home. It could be in a box at my brother’s house, or it could be long gone. Wherever it is though, that tower meant something special to me. Seeing the Eiffel tower on my key chain today reminded me of all of the adventures I have had and of all of the adventures I will yet have. It is my dream to return to Europe someday soon. When I do, visiting the Eiffel tower is going to be on my to do list again. I’m going to buy myself another tower and I’m going to ride the elevator all the way to the top.

Going Home

I am finally going back to Seattle tomorrow.

Seattle hasn't felt like home in years,

but for some odd reason on this wonderful winter night,

Seattle couldn't feel more like my home.

I can't wait to see my family,

and to play games,

and cook yummy things.

It's been over three years since I have been back,

and even though I can't go back to my childhood home,

I get to be with my family in the rain.

I get to go to the Space Needle.

and I get to create new memories with my loved ones,

and I get to be a little more complete inside.

Tonight while I have been packing Ingrid has been keeping me company.

I'm grateful for...

Today I am grateful for photography. Doing photography means that I get to hang out with awesome people like these guys...

And it means I get to experience special moments like this...

and this.

I wanted...

It’s one of those days. You wake up, and for some odd reason you’re not okay. So since it’s one of those days, today I am listening to James Taylor. He always makes me think of mom. I wanted so many things from her today. I wish she was here.

I wanted to call her and explain my boy problems

I wanted to hear a goodnight story.

I wanted a sweet text

I wanted her to call concerned

I wanted her to be proud of me

I wanted to go home for Christmas to see her

I wanted to dance in the living room with her

I wanted to see her and Dad so in love

I wanted her to make me dinner

I wanted her to hold me

I wanted a current day family picture

I wanted short hair like her

I wanted her to kiss my head

I wanted her to buy me socks because I hate buying socks

I wanted her to be healthy

I wanted her to wish me luck on finals

I wanted her to miss me

I wanted inside jokes with her.

I wanted to laugh at old family photos

I wanted to lip sing with her

I wanted to make dinner with her

I wanted to go on a girl date

I wanted her to be my best friend

I wanted a package from her

I wanted to go Christmas shopping for her

I wanted her to yell at me for being stupid

I wanted to celebrate her birthday together

I wanted to run errands with her

I wanted to take silly photographs with her

I wanted someone to call when I’m not ok

I wanted someone to call when I get home from a date

I wanted to complain to her

I wanted her to tell me to stop crying

I wanted her to get together with her sisters

I wanted to go on vacation with her

I wanted her to be here with me.

An IPhone Way of Life

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I am officially an IPhone owner. For some stupid reason I feel obligated to take pictures everywhere I go. Here are a few shots from the last few weeks. Enjoy.

Eric was nice enough to let me spend Thanksgiving with him and his family. They were so sweet and wonderful. I was so grateful to be welcomed in with open arms. It turned out to be a real lovely day.

I made one to many snowflakes for work. I must admit though, that I think the decorating at work turned out great. Hard work does pay off.

I spent all day listening to The Rocket Summers album "Do You Feel" one day, and low and behold, my friend Zach came and wrote "Do you feel" on my hand without even knowing.

I made it out to USU's art museum again. I love spending time there. It's so interesting to see what people come up with. This is one of my favorite pieces. These clogs are programmed to play all sorts of different songs. They are all individually carved and painted and collected from all over the world.

Oliver was nice enough to accompany me to the USU's production of "Twentieth Century" It was hilarious. Both of us had no idea what to expect going into the play, and we both laughed our heads off. It was an evening well spent.

Wonderful Eric and Zach like to give me sandwich hugs. They surprised me at my house yesterday with a great big sandwich hug! These boys are hilarious together. I am grateful that I was able to meet them this semester. They have been wonderful to me.

Adorable Sara and I had our first try at owling. Although we were not very successful, we had a blast attempting to be like all of the cool kids in this world.

Low and Behold, finals week is here. This morning I tried to get some last minute studying in over some breakfast.

Finding a Happy Medium

Growing up, I was always taught that when you leave the house you look nice. This is something that I have implemented into my life…until recently.

All throughout high school, and most of college I have showered first thing when I have woken up. I have always tried to look my best and have consistently done my hair and make-up.

Last year, I moved in with my lovely friend Audrey. Now Audrey at the time was having some shower issues. She only showered once a week. With me showing seven days a week at the time and her once a week, we constantly made fun of each other.

Sadly, by the end of the school year, we had worn off on each other. Now, I don’t mean to say that I was only showing once a week, I was showing just about every day still, but I was not trying to look my best anymore. I officially became lazy. Hats and sweatshirts took over my wardrobe, and my make-up was quick and messy.

Currently, I am in a dilemma. School is the one place that I meet people, but sadly, I don’t get ready for it. I have early classes, and that extra fifteen minutes of sleep means the world to me. My motto on life the past few years has been “I don’t care what anyone thinks about me, because honestly, they don’t think about me that much.” So, where do I find a balance? I hate that I have become this scrubby person, but I love that I can throw on a hat and not care and go. Who is going to want to date me when I look bad at school everyday? (I do try to clean up nicely on dates.) I am looking for a happy medium. If you have reached it, please let me know. I am desperate to know your secret!

Iron and Wine

I fell in love with this song years ago.

The dancers make me think of my Spanish heritage.

Iron and Wine is amazing.

Enjoy!

Change

What if you woke up and the world had changed?

What if you woke up and you could change anything you wanted?

Of course, we would all change our lives for the better, but would you change anything for the worse just to experience it?

No Face Photographs.

This is my faceless self portrait. Lately, my mind and heart has been all jumbled up, and my insides are twisted in all the wrong directions. I'm trying to remember who I am, and what I am doing with my life. Until then, this photograph will remain faceless.

"Welcome Home" by Radical Face has been my muse today. Please listen and enjoy. It's amazing. I hope that I too can be welcomed home soon.

Dear sixteen year old me,

Remember that time you kissed that boy on the bridge?

That older boy that you thought would make all your dreams come true?

Well, he won’t.

Remember when you felt so lost you stole your sister’s car?

You got grounded and you cried

And you snuck friends into the house to visit.

Remember when you had the best friends in the world?

Remember how you promised to be friends forever?

Well sixteen year old me, the world doesn’t change much.

There is still those boys that you hope will make all your dreams come true.

Some do and others don’t.

You will still get yourself in trouble and need your friends to pull you through.

You will still have some of the best friends in the world,

And you will be a little lost.

But remember,

It’s ok to be lost.

You will have no idea where you are going and that will piss the hell out of you.

You will find solace in other things.

You will find lots of broken hearts, heads, and spirits,

But you will rejoice in the happy beautiful moments

Dear sixteen year old me,

You might not know where you are going,

But it’s ok.

Be happy and live in the moment.

“You’ll shine like gold in the air of summer.” (Kings of Convenience)

Love,

Twenty two year old me.

Beautiful

If you were writing a love poem to one part of yourself you haven't learned to love yet, what would it be?

My skin. It doesn't always feel like it fits right

The part of me that doesn't believe that I deserve it all.

My scarred feet

I would write to my insides and send lots of new positive thoughts to them (ovaries, uterus, cervix, etc) and apologize to my body for not taking care of it from the beginning.

My mind.

The little voice that tells me I can't write poetry.

My vagina.

I would write to my hands, they write me, they wipe my tears, they calm me down to count to ten.

My heart.

My overly passionate personality

My scarred tummy. I think I'll do that.

My gender, Or my head.

I'd write to my body in general, the imperfections externally, and the maturing pieces internally.

The part that always needs to fight something.

Anything that makes me cringe when I think about it.

My arms.

My wants

My capacity to obsess.

The part of my that was taught that harming others is essential for self preservation.

My boobs. Definetly.

My Shyness.

My awkwardness.

My heart's obsessiveness.

That part that is to clingy, or the body, including my toe hairs.

My intensity.

My negative qualities or character flaws.

That part of me I forget to remember.

My cat-loving allergies.

My chatterbox.

Inability to beat my addiction.

The part that makes mistakes and needs help sometimes.

Andrea Gibson posted this question on her facebook, and I can't get over how beautiful some of the responses are. As human beings we are completely imperfect. Let us take our character flaws, scars, and our broken hearts and love them. Envelop them with all the love you can muster then throw them out to the world to hold onto.

Andrea Gibson

Happy Existence

I have been so unbelievably blessed lately. Not only do I have the sweet sounds, smells, and feelings of fall turning into winter wrapped up in my world, but I am surrounded by good constantly.

I am so grateful that the people that are currently in my life are taking their place and settling in on my happy existence. I don’t think I could ask for anything more right now.

Each mind is a different world.

Joining the cliche

I have finally entered the world of technology. It happened, I got an Iphone. Although my feelings are still neutral about how I feel about entering the smart phone world, I feel like I am finally apart of a click of girls who capture every moment of their lives on their phones and post them into cyber world. So as a part of the "oh so fabulous technical life", here are a few pictures I have taken on my phone over the past week.

I have originated back to Starbucks for the one place I study and write best!

Tennessee and I made it out to dinner for La Tormenta. He was missing home.

I got my usual wheat bagel and honey almond cream cheese for lunch

I figured out how everything on the camera worked

Eric and I studied at the library

Ollie and I made it out skateboarding. Not only did we both have some good falls, but he started teaching me some tricks and fed me leftovers after.

Sunday Fun

Today Jay, Sara, and I decided to go out and take some photographs. Jay own's his dad's old camera, and I have another SLR that doesn't make it out of the closet much so we decided to mess around Logan. Sara and Jay are so much fun to hang out with. They are some of the best housemates that I could ever ask for. Did I mention they are adorable together? Anyways, here a few of the fun shots that we took of each other. Enjoy our lazy Sunday afternoon.

Delighted

If you are a poet.

a ridiculous broke ass poet,

conjure up a word

you believe will change this earth

then write it.

But know, whatever you do or create,

regardless of how much money you make,

the greatest gift you will ever receive

is letting the universe teach you

how to be

delighted!

-Sonya Renee Taylor

Tennessee

Meet my dear friend Tennessee. (Yes, his real name is Tennessee.) We met last year after being set up on a blind date together. We decided early on that dating was not for us, and that we were destined to be friends. This kid has been such a huge part of my life the last year. He claims the title of being one of my best friends, and even carries me to bed and tucks me in when I'm to tired to walk there myself.

We have both celebrated our birthday's the past month without each other. So, last night we decided to see HP7p2 in the dollar theater and grab some dinner to say "Happy Birthday" to one another. He was nice enough to let me capture a few photographs of him when we came home. So, meet my great friend Tennessee.