Saturday, March 17, 2012

18 Years

One of the few things I hold dearly to my heart is my mom’s journal. Buried amongst my small pile of books, my mom’s journal from her junior year of high school gracefully collects dust between readings. I honestly don’t know how I became the owner of this treasure, but I do know that certain boys liked to walk her to class and call her after school, and I know about her friends and loved ones of that year.

Having my mom’s journal inspired me to first write in my journal. One of my new year’s resolutions for 2011 was to have a journal entry for everyday. Thanks to my mom’s example, I am now on year two of writing every day straight.

I don’t know what it is, but it seems like I have constantly been homesick for my mom the past six months. I find myself trying to remind myself of her constantly. I even put on her plum clip on earrings the other day just so I could see if I could see part of her in me with them on. I find that I try to listen to her favorite bands, and keep pictures of her near by at all times.

My mom has been gone for almost 18 years now, and I feel like the pain of her loss is barley setting in and taking over my emotions.

So, I have been dealing with it any way I know how.

I am so grateful for the few years that I got to spend with her, and for all the kind words and story’s that her friends and family enjoy telling me. I’m grateful for her possessions that continually get passed down to me through the years, and I am grateful for her ability to inspire me even from above.

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